itsstuckyinmyhead:

Family and Tumblr

(via ticktock-timelord)


Kidnapper: Get in the fukin van
Me: Oh ok cool
Kidnapper: Wut
Me: This is a febreze commercial right
Kidnapper: Wut
Me: Smells pretty shitty in here to me tbh


WHEN UR AT HOTEL ROOM N THEY GONNA GOTTA CHARGE U 4 WATER HAHAHAHAHA WTF YA RITEE LMFAOO 😂😂😭😭😆😆👵👵💩💩🔥🔥💦💧💥👀👄👅 #relatable #popularpage #magcon

(via kehinki)


Why do white people own so many pets?
Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.
*****
What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?
You know he did it.
*****
how many Chicago cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.”
*****
A good looking 50 year old white man is trying to get laid on reality TV. What show are you watching?
To catch a predator.
*****
Why do white girls travel in groups of three or five?
They can’t even
*****
What do you call 64 white people in a room? A full blooded Cherokee.

from various reddit threads

at dinner last night, a coworker was talking about hanging out with his white friends and getting fed up with the racist jokes, and asked them to tell a white people joke.  nobody had any, so he googled and found these. after a few of them, people were a lot less comfortable.

white folks, next time you hear a racist joke, maybe lead with one of these in response.  tag this “I’m white” when you reblog it, if you are.

(via cuterpillar)

(via thepersonalispolitic)


fat women: *gets shit on by peers, media, the fashion industry, products and marketing*
skinny women: *praised by literally everyone*
skinny women: *doesn't say shit while fat women are being put down*
Nicki: fuck skinny bitches
skinny women: what the FUCK what htE FUCK??? YOU ARE Nt gonna get ANYhwer by shMING ANY body type...we have to LOVE evyer,,,one!!!!1111


elysedc:

The ultimate dad joke compilation

(via demonicdorothy)



Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

twirliest:

steampoweredplayer:

lollie-pond:

larryismyhallelujah:

thetasrose:

peachy-blisss:

myswagisnice:

I love my mom.

image

I am risking nothing

image

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

image

sorry followers :(

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

goddamn it

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

Koop

This has 1.2 million reblogs …
Ps not riskin it

(via ticktock-timelord)